


Horseface and the Perfects

by AuntieSkuld



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Armin is their manager, Bassist Mikasa, College Parties, Everything is painfully hipster, Fluff, Garage Band, Jean is pissy, Kissing, Lead singer Jean, M/M, Make Outs, Marco and Sasha are bffs, Marco is clueless, Pining, Punk band, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Language, and i apologize, band au, college student marco, drummer eren, indie band, together they are perff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:11:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8503741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuntieSkuld/pseuds/AuntieSkuld
Summary: Since getting to university Marco has isolated himself from his friends. Sasha wants to change that. One night she begs Marco to go to a show with her, and his heart is stolen by the band's lead singer. Well, you know what they say it's all uphill/downhill from here! ha ha! but seriously folks Marco has no idea what he's doing please help.A story of a painfully awkward Marco and painfully hipster Jean.





	1. Lust for Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off tumblr user Savi-Bunny's "Horseface and the Perfects" au.  
> http://savi-bunny.tumblr.com/tagged/hfatp
> 
> I know someone already tried writing for this au but I wanted to give it a shot. 
> 
> This is my first fic, and I hope you like it. I'm not the best with grammar, and I didn't have anyone proof this. I hope it's not too painful to read ahaha. Anyway. yay!

I’m not social anymore. Lately, I spend my time doing something quiet like reading, or writing. Not that I am any good at writing, but I find sitting at my laptop pouring over the same sentence for hours calming. I wasn't always like this. In the past, I ran from my problems. Using popularity to cover up who I am. So, when I spend weeks in my own company it’s good for me! At least that's how I rationalize it. Anyway, The last thing I, Marco Bott, want to do on a Wednesday night is go see a band I’ve never heard of. Tonight, that's exactly what Sasha wants me to do.

Sasha Blouse and I have known each other since high school, and back in the day we were inseparable. You couldn’t say my name without hers, and vice versa. I admired Sasha for her positive attitude, and her pure “you couldn’t bring me down if you tried” outlook on life. Sasha would rather complain about a stomach ache than someone talking shit about her. As a team we were unstoppable. We floated into parties like we were the coolest tricks in shoe leather, and people flocked to our confidence like flies. Yes, I use to be quite the social butterfly, but I used that popularity as a way to distract people. I was the only out gay kid in all of Jinae High. Back then it was sink or sail, and I did not feel like sinking.

That was high school, though. Now, we’re in our fourth year of college, and frankly Sasha and I have drifted apart. I am no longer that boy in high school. People care less if you’re gay in college, so I don’t have to compensate for myself with popularity. I have reverted to my original antisocial nature. I can usually be found in my apartment stressing over my english degree, and trying to convince myself it isn’t a waste of time. Sasha will always be herself, she is still outgoing still not giving a shit, and I’ll admit it intimidates me. We get along, but the only thing we have in common is that we use to be friends. What I originally admired about Sasha is tearing us apart, and I don’t seem to have the drive to make it better.

“I’m sorry, what?” I swivel in my desk chair to eyeball her. Sasha is currently placed on my couch backwards to face me. Her chestnut hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and is adorned with a metal spiked headband. On her face I see an expression of pure determination. She looks like she’s trying to crack a safe, and what’s inside is going to either explode or make her a multi millionaire.

“You and me are going to a show tonight.” She commands it slowly, as if she thinks I don’t understand english.

“Yes, obviously, I heard you. My ‘what’ was mostly for dramatic effect.” I roll my eyes at her. She chuckles, and shifts a bit on the couch trying to get more comfortable.

“C’mon Marco! Puh-leeease! This band is suppose to be pretty good, and you and me haven’t hung out in like two months!” I smile at her, knowing how right she is, and how guilty I feel about it. “Please Marco! It’ll be low-key no moshing or anything like that. Just come, have a drink, and watch a cool band.” I peek over at her, sighing out of my nose and smiling just a bit. “We can go get burgers after,” she sing-songs and waggles her eyebrows. I laugh, and rise from my chair.

“Okay, okay. Let me just get dressed. Can’t say I won’t embarrass myself though. Just promise you won’t introduce me to anyone you want to stay friends with.” She whoops and throws her arms in the air. I laugh again and walk to my closet.

“It’ll be cool! You only have to talk to me! I swear to god!” Already wearing a pale blue button-up I throw on a yellow sweater-vest and my blue and white letterman jacket. We’re going to a punky show, but whatever. I don’t have to look the part I just have to go, right?

* * *

 

We meet up with Sasha’s boyfriend, Connie, on the metro. I know, how unfortunate that his mother decided on that name, and don’t even get him started on the origins of the name. I’ve heard it one too many times. How it’s short for his grandfather’s name ‘Conrad,’ and don't you dare ask, “oh so your full name is Conrad?” ‘Cause it’s not, and he gets furious after that. They’ve been going out for...well forever. They started dating in highschool, and have been inseparable ever since. They’re an odd pair, but they’re really great deep down.

It’s October, and the air is just starting to become cold and crisp. I stare out the window of the train. We pass the line of maple trees that occupy the area by the train-tracks. They cling to the last of their leaves, with dead ones scattered in piles at the base of the trucks. I look at each tree as it passes, the last leaves frame the once lush outline of the branches. Some of the leaves remain green, but the majority of them are crinkled inwards ready for a gust of wind to take them away. The trees will be barren soon.

“So, what’s up Marco? I haven’t see you in a hella fortnight,” Connie asks as we step off the train toward the direction of the venue. He and Sasha had been catching up the entire train ride, and he is just now adjusting his attention to me.

“Just school. I’ve been insanely busy. Sorry I haven’t been around much,” I lie. I haven’t been busy, but I decide to spare Connie the story of my hermitage. Sasha giggles and throws her arms around my waist as we’re walking.

“I missed you so mu-huh-huch!” She fake cries and buries her head in my armpit. I pat her head and laugh.

“I missed you too Sash.” Connie and Sasha continue to laugh as I realize we’re approaching the venue on our left. There are small crowds of painfully hip twenty-somethings standing in circles outside the old building. The majority of them have a drink and a cigarette in their hands. Red christmas lights line the entrance, and I have no doubt the lights are there all year round and are not a seasonal decoration.

“ARMIN!” Sasha yells suddenly, and runs towards one of the fairy-circles of hipsters. A blonde with shoulder length hair turns and throws his arms around Sasha happily laughing. They sway side to side, and everyone in the circle continues to talk around them.

“Thanks for coming, Sasha!” He says enthusiastically. They break apart and Sasha points over to Connie and I as we approach. “Hey I’m Armin!” He reports as we walk up. Connie and I introduce ourselves, and we all fall into comfortable chatter for a couple minutes. Armin is adorable, and I have to consciously stop myself from staring at his bright blue eyes. I scan the crowd around me and notice, wow, most of the people here are gorgeous. All of them look stylish and put together. Everyone has an edge to them, each person more unique than the last. I must look out of place. Sasha interrupts my inner dialogue to shout in the direction of Armin.

“You’re their manager?!” She gapes at Armin. He laughs, nods, and takes a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, well. The three of them are hopeless when it comes to managing themselves. I sorta got them a gig once, and then Eren begged me to continue.” They’re talking about the band we’re about to see I think to myself.

“Oh that sounds interesting. Is it difficult to manage a band?” I inquire, trying to sound like a human listening to a conversation. Armin chuckles at my question.

“Yes, but not for the reasons you’d think. The band is really small as of right now. So, the managing is pretty simple. They could honestly do it themselves, but the members are a bit--” Just then Armin is clapped on the shoulder by a young man. He’s tan and small with the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. Wow, he’s cute too. Is everyone at this fuckin’ show hot!?

“The members are a bit what?” Armin jumps at the sudden contact, and he ends up spilling beer all over himself.

“Eren! Jesus Christ!” Everyone laughs as Armin attempts to brush the beer off his jacket. Eren seems to laugh the most. I notice Eren’s arm drapes comfortably across Armin’s shoulders. “Oh my god, my bomber jacket. What have you done?!” Armin cries.

“Haha sorry. We’re just about to start, but I was wondering if you’d mind getting drinks for us.” Eren is talking softly to him, but Armin is still pouting. He glares at Eren and then sighs.

“Yeah, what do you want?” Eren hugs Armin a bit into his side. He smiles in victory.

“Just whatever they’ll give you for free!” Eren kisses the side of Armin’s head, and skips off happily only to disappear into a side entrance I hadn’t realized was there. Armin sighs again and looks toward Sasha, Connie, and I.

“See what I mean? Anyway, let’s all head inside They’re about to start.”

We all move to shuffle inside. The rest of the crowd takes the hint, and they mash out their cigarettes to join the mass-entrance into the club. I follow behind Sasha and slowly wait my turn to make it into the small doorway. I look down toward the side entrance that Eren went into, there’s a small green light bulb hanging over the door illuminating the area around it. A boyish figure takes a drag on a cigarette. The red burn of the tip contrasts with the emerald lighting. I stare, and I can’t help but keep staring. I feel myself drawn to the scene. The figure turns toward me, and we lock eyes. It's a guy. I can't make out details, but he looks me up and down. Takes another drag from his cigarette. I watch as he blows the smoke out; the green light catches his teeth as he smirks at me. He stomps out his cigarette and turns to disappear into the door. I don’t realize I’m alone on the sidewalk till he’s gone, and I dart inside the entrance of the club. Only after looking back at the green light once more.

* * *

 

The inside of the club is muggy and hot, and no one is even dancing yet. The tiny area is packed with people, and I elect to take off my jacket within 1 minute of being in the breath-caused humidity. Leaving me in my preppy bright-yellow sweater vest amongst the sea of hipsters. I basically have a sign that says, “I don’t belong here’ ‘ask me about my yacht’ bolted to my head (I don’t actually have a yacht). Sasha, Connie and I settle to stand on the far right side of the stage. We’re at the front too, because the crowd has left a two foot barrier in between themselves and the stage. Sasha tells me this happens at most shows she goes to.

The band finally walks on stage; meandering around making last minute adjustments. Nothing grand happens just two dudes and a girl walking calmly over to their instruments. The crowd cheers, and the room becomes energized. Eren sits comfortably behind the drum set that’s placed behind the other members. He grabs his sticks to pound at one of the drums and adjusts himself on the stool. The girl picks up her bass from where it was propped up against an amp. She pulls her hair out from under the guitar strap, and looks coldly out onto the crowd. She motions for the crowd to move up flush with the stage, and everyone complies. Finally, who I assume is the front man makes his way onto the stage. I am instantly glued to him, he exudes “I’m a cute and scrawny boy.” It’s the character trait that I always find myself lusting after. You know those boys, right? The ones that wear cute clothes, walk around confidently, and they can pull of any embarrassing act as adorable and funny. Well, maybe you don’t, but the front man of this band was it. The poster child of “cute and scrawny boys.” He pulled his pointy black guitar onto himself, and turned toward the crowd just as they’re screaming and clapping found my ears again.

“Hey! We are ‘Horseface and the Perfects,” The cute boy beams. The crowd cheers again, and it gives me time to study the frontman’s appearance. His features are sharp, and he has piercings. Lots of them. Most of them are in his ears, but he also has two small spheres in each cheek. His hair is cropped on the sides, but the top is left longer. I watch as he pushes the longer part back. His hair looks unruly, but mostly it just looks soft and blonde.

That’s when the music crashes in, but I don’t really hear it. I’m too busy gawking at the frontman. He crouches over his guitar as he plays frantically over the first riff of the song. He’s smiling, and he’s gorgeous. I watch him step on a foot pedal, his tight jeans strain against his long legs. He straightens his posture and rushes to the microphone. That’s when I tune back in. He sings. He sings and it’s amazing. His voice is clear, but rough around the edges. At that moment I’m positive you can see hearts in my eyes. For the first song I stand completely still as my surroundings gyrate, jump and bounce around me. The lights change color and flick around everywhere. I see Sasha laugh next to me but all I can hear are the crash of cymbals and the twang of guitars. Everything seems to move in slow motion for the duration of the song until it finally ends with another crash.

The frontman wipes his brow with his forearm, and turns to address the audience. “How’s everybody doing tonight?” He remarks calmly, like were all hanging out in a living room. The crowd hollers in response. The frontman chuckles. Then, he points looking alarmed. “Attention! Let that man with the beers through!” The crowd all looks behind them, including me. I notice a hand poking out of the crowd holding three beers in one hand. Armin eventually makes his way to the front. He hands the beers to the front man who hands them to the rest of the members. He rushes back to the mic. “Everybody give up for our manager, Armin. You know me so well, baby” The audience laughs, and Eren tries to yell at frontman over the crowd noise. Armin laughs shaking his head. After the crowd continues to cheer Armin turns and curtseys. The frontman (I wish I knew his name) takes a swig of beer and then places it on top of an amp. He turns to the audience, “okay here’s our next song.’”

The song starts and I find myself bopping to the music. That's when I notice Sasha poking me in the side. I look over to her and she hands me a cocktail in a plastic up. She tries to yell something to me. “What?!” I yell into her ear.

“Cranberry and Gin!” she yells into mine. I nod in her direction, take a sip, then give her an exaggerated thumbs up. She laughs that leans into me again “How do you like them?!”

“They’re great!” I yell back at her. She smiles big and pumps her fist in the air. I laugh again, and I’m suddenly having an incredible time. I didn’t realize I missed her so much. I didn’t realize it was so easy to have fun with her. I begin to feel giddy. Maybe we are still capable of being friends.

“Isn’t Jean great?!” She yells to me.

“Who?!” I shout back.

“Jean!” She points “The lead singer! Isn’t he great?” I realize then she’s trying to tell me the frontman’s name and I’m desperate to know.

“Yeah! He's awesome! What’s his name?! Sean!?”

“No! Jean!” She yells back “With a ‘J’” She draws a little “J” in the air.

“John?” I nod toward her. She just laughs and shakes her head ‘no.’ She mouths ‘I’ll tell you later.’ Sasha hops up and down to the song, and she pokes me in the ribs to dance with her. I give in, and we dance our hearts out. The song ends and she turns to me.

“Come to the bathroom with me!” I nod okay and follow her. I pause at the door to the women’s restroom. Pointing at the little dress-clad stick figure, Sasha laughs, and pulls me in with her. I’ve been in the ladies room so many times, but it still makes me nervous. A few girls gasp with shock, but then they quickly are unaffected and go about their business. Sasha fixes her eyeliner in the mirror. Not looking at me at all as she says, “He’s cute, huh?” I chuckle a bit.

“Who, Connie?” She finally turns to me then and laughs.

“No, not Connie. I mean yeah, he’s cute too. I’m talking about Jean.” Oh like the french name, I think to myself. I try to be ignorant; I just raise an eyebrow at her. She sees through me. “I know he’s your type, Marco. You got the ‘cute scrawny boy’ blues. Under that manly, tan, and freckly exterior beats the heart of a 9th grade cheerleader.” So, maybe I’ve lamented about “my type” more than once, and Sasha knows all about it. But it does make me laugh.

“Yeah you got me. He’s gorgeous.” Finishing her makeup, Sasha turns and points at me.

“I knew it! I heard he’s single, ya know.” This of course, cracks me up.

“You heard? He also looks really straight, Sash.” She grins at that.

“Well, I also heard that he’s bisexual.” She grabs me by the arms suddenly, “omigod, Marco, you have to tap that.” We laugh again, and she stumbles after me as I shake my head and walk away. “I’m serious!” We make our way back to Connie. The whole way Sasha is telling me how adorable Jean and I’s adopted babies could be. We end up making it back to Connie just to catch the tail end of the song. In between the next songs the band takes a moment to sip water, chug beer, and re-tune their guitars. Finally, Jean (I know his name now, thank god) turns to the crowd.

“Okay, usually, I dedicate this next song to ‘Hot guys everywhere.’” I choke on my drink at that, and Sasha laughs hysterically next to me. “Tonight I’m going to change it up!”

A now shirtless Eren yells at Jean to hurry up and play. Calling Jean an idiot, as he beats on his bass drum.

Then, Jean does something that I am definitely not expecting, He locks eyes with me, and he points at me. “This next song! Is for this hot freckled guy! Nice sweater vest, man!” That’s when the entire room turns to look at me, and everyone next to me laughs and hollers. Sasha clings to my arm trying not to die laughing. She yells my name, tears streaming down her face. I stand there opening and closing my mouth like a carp. Then...he winks at me, and I die. Rest in peace me. No, but I nearly fall onto my knees. Half with embarrassment and half with arousal. Sasha continues to laugh like a hyena, and the song finally starts.

_"Oh I wish I had a boyfriend"_


	2. Hey Cool Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco goes to a party.

The next day I wake up feeling physically exhausted. You know you're out of shape when a night of standing has you worn out. I sit up in my bed, grab my robe, and shuffle into the living room. Connie and Sasha are sleeping head to foot on my sofa. I stare at them trying to figure out why they ended up in that position. You'd think a couple would want to spoon or something, but not them I guess. Connie seems pretty content with Sash's toes in his face.

The night before ended anticlimactically, with the band heading off stage never to be seen again. We stayed at the club a bit longer, talking to Armin and drinking our fill at the bar. I even bought a tank top from their merch table. Then, the three of us went to our favorite 24 hour burger place. We ended up catching a cab back to my place because we missed the last train. I was so exhausted that I didn't even speak to Connie and Sasha when we walked in the door. I just stumbled to my bed and collapsed.

Sasha stirs and sits up looking around with tiny tired eyes. "Mmm...what time is it?" She snatches her phone off my coffee table. "10:30?! Are you kidding?" Rubbing her face, she collapses onto Connie's legs and groans.

"Well, good morning starshine," I say to her. She peeks at me from behind her fingertips. I smirk as I open the fridge to retrieve some breakfast. She squints at me. I reach around my fridge only to find condiments and a single yogurt cup. I need to go shopping.

"Marco, how is it that you look so dashing first thing in the morning? Are you not hungover?"

"I just woke up like this." I gesture to my bed-head as I begin to make myself some tea. She calmly raises both her middle fingers at me. Connie groans next to her waving his arm and covering one of his ears.

"Oh my prince has awakened. Good morning Prince!" She shouts into his ear. Connie just groans again covering his face with his arm.

"Ughh. I need to be purified in the waters of lake Minnetonka." He says as he rubs his face.

"What the fuck?" Sasha mutters slowly.

"Is that a Purple Rain reference?" I know very well that it is. Connie confirms with just a point at his nose. Clearly he's too hungover to even respond. "Did you guys drink more than me last night? Cause I feel totally fine. You want some water?"

"Yeah, there's a logical explanation for that." I fetch some water for them while Sasha ruffles through the trash from the burgers last night. I watch Sasha grab one of the bags. She digs inside until she finds an unopened burger. She starts eating it.

"OK, now I feel sick. Sasha don’t eat that!" Disgusting.

"Armin made us do tequila shots while you were in the bathroom," Connie mumbles. He sits up and Sasha offers him a bite of the cold-in-a-bag-all-night burger. He accepts. "S'why were considerably more hungover than you."

"Gross, you guys." I set the glasses of water on the coffee table. Then move to sit in the lazy-boy opposite them

"Oh no!!!!" Sasha suddenly yells and points at me.

"What? What?" I yell back. Sasha places her head in her hands. She continues to grumble. "What? What's your deal? Don’t you dare vomit!" I scramble trying to find something to shove under Sasha face. Oh no she will not ruin my new IKEA rug.

"Marco!" She continues to whine. "I forgot about Jean! Fuuuck I was going to get you with him. Ugh!!" Connie snatches the burger from her, shaking his head. I honestly forgot about Jean for a moment. I remember feeling disappointed that I didn't see him after the show. I wanted to talk to him, or at least tell him my name. I shrug it off though.

"Dude, it's fine. I'm probably not even his type."

"Marco! Shut up, you're everyone's type." Sasha glares at me. "Right Connie?" Connie, who clearly wasn't listening, just grunts.

"Well, thank you for being concerned about my sex life, but I am really okay. Plus, he made fun of my sweater vest. Dude's a total dick-bag." Sasha shakes her head. She gets up stumbling over to me. She plops herself into my lap, pulling my head to rest on her breasts.

"Don't worry, babeh." She adorns a fake southern accent for dramatic effect, "mommas gonna get that fo' ya. I'll have you married off nice and propa befo' you come an ol' maid."

I laugh and shake my head. "Your boobs smell like booze and burgers."

Sasha turns to Connie, "what a gentleman we've raised, Daddy!"

"'Boobs, Booze, and burgers' is a good band name," he replies through a mouthful of burger.

* * *

 

Connie and Sasha do a lackluster job of tidying up before they leave my apartment. Once again I’m alone. I decide to skip my classes today. I’m not hungover, but I feel exhausted. I fall onto my couch clutching a cushion, and stare up at the ceiling. Flashes of the night before dance through my head. I probably won’t ever see Jean again. I’ll forget what he looks like, and then forget his name. He’ll drift away like dozens of other people I’ve encountered in my life. I pause.

But I didn’t even meet him, why am I still thinking about this. I’ll bet he has tons of girls and guys, I guess, lusting after him at shows.

He did call me ‘hot,’ though.  
No Marco. He was just making fun of you.

I breathe deeply, letting the air fill my diaphram. I breathe out through my nose. I’m pathetic.

“He was making fun of me.” I say it outloud to my apartment, and my heart clenches in my chest.

I know I'm making mountains out of molehills, but I can't help but play the scene in my head. "Nice sweater vest! Nerd!" Did he say "nerd?" He might as well have. There was no way Jean was flirting with me. He thought it was funny. He called me 'hot' ironically. I wasn't anything special, just a gay shut-in with too many freckles.

My mind is going a mile a minute. Every time I think, I get further away from rational thought.

“What is wrong with me?!” I throw the cushion away from me, it hits a glass of water on the coffee table, and it spills everywhere. I pause. It’s silent in my apartment. The sun is sending golden streams of light into my flat. I decide to try and forget the whole thing

* * *

 

The next couple of days I make it my mission to stay in contact with Sasha. I decide rekindling our friendship is my number one “to do.” I text her when I think of something funny, I meet up with her for coffee and lunch; I try my best to do friend things. She gets happier every time I see her, and we fit together again.

On the following Friday Sasha drags me out again, this time to a party. Initially I am reluctant, I haven’t been to a “party” in a long time. It has probably been a year since I’ve been to one, but I decide that I need to be a friend. Friends go to parties together.

So once again Connie, Sasha and I head out to a remote location. It’s Armin’s grandfather’s house. We convince Connie to drive, and it takes us about 45 minutes to get there. We finally reach the house at around 11pm. We had to wait for Sasha to get of work, so we are a bit late. It’s a giant white house deep into the outskirts of the suburbs. The house is on a ton of land too, we drive down a long gravel driveway towards a porch light in the distance. There are a few other cars parked haphazardly at the end of the driveway. We find a spot to park in the grass, and get out of the car.

“So, this is the place, right?” I turn to Sasha.

“Yeah! it’s Armin’s G-paw’s house. Old guy is out of town,” She pats me on the back and walks in the direction of the back porch. The backyard is directly next to the driveway, and we notice that past the yard there’s a little path into the woods. The path leads to a lit bonfire.

“I bet they’re out there,” says Connie. He steps over a garden and starts tromping over to the bonfire. When we get to the fire I notice a huge ring of chairs around it, and laughter comes wafting into my ears.

“Hey guys!” Sasha yells. I feel my heart pound as we approach. Does she even know any of these people? My fears are instantly quelled as people begin to speak up. Young people turn their heads and bark greetings toward Connie, Sasha and I. Armin gets up from the far end of the fire, and makes his way to us. He embraces Sasha and Connie in one big hug. He looks flushed. We’re here late so everyone is probably tipsy by now.  
“Yes! I’m so glad you guys made it!” He cheers as he steps back from his hug. He notices me standing behind my friends. “Marco! Hey!” He pushes past Connie and Sasha to hug me as well. He wraps his arms around my middle, and I feel him bury his head into my chest.

“H-hi. Hey Armin,” Armin, still hugging me like a koala, turns to Sasha.

“Sasha, where have you been hiding this guy? I am seriously about to fall asleep on him.” Sasha laughs, and joins Armin in hugging me.

“Mmmm, Marco is a big warm teddy bear.” The tiny hug party I have around my middle is now making everyone laugh. I join in if only to stop myself from being so nervous.

“Sasha, come on you’re not even drunk yet. Plus, I’m sure your boyfriend is ten times more huggable than me.” I look to Connie for help but he’s laughing, and talking to some tall buff dude. They finally slump off of me. Sasha turns to Armin.

“Marco can’t take a compliment,” she insists. Armin shakes his head.

“How unfortunate, s’ a really good hugger.” Sasha snort laughs and smacks Armin on the arm.

“guys, I’m right here,” I mumble. They walk away arms locked together, and leave me standing alone in the grass. I survey the trying to find a familiar face, and that’s when I notice the frontman, the guy from the show! Jean is here. He's slightly out of line with the rest of the circle, he's not talking to anyone. He has his knees draw up, his hands resting on his feet at the edge of the chair. He's wearing a large jean jacket and tight pants. His hair is messy, but it's all working for him. How can a person look so perfectly disheveled? If I dressed liked that people would ask me if I was doing alright. I’m staring at him again. I feel nervous as the thoughts from my revelation on the couch rear their ugly head. Still, he looks so cute pouting over there. He stares at the fire like it's a very tedious tv program. I wanna smack that pout off his dumb cute face...or maybe kiss it off, I haven’t decided yet.

Suddenly, Sasha returns to my side, she's handing me a beer. I turn to her quickly trying to be less obvious that I was just making goo-goo eyes at Jean. She raises an eyebrow at me, and glances over my shoulder.

“Ohhhh I see,” she coos slyly. She chuckles and swirls her beer as if it’s a wine glass.

“Shhh- shut up." I shush her. I yank the can out of her hand. She laughs at me.

" I didn't say anything." She tries to appear innocent but fails. Her devil horns holding up her halo no doubt.

"And please don't!" I shout in a loud whisper. She laughs at me again. She raises her eyebrows suggestively. Sasha takes a big side-step in the direction of Jean. “Jesus fucking christ don’t, Sash!” I whisper-yell at her. She takes another step, and I’m so close to bolting into the woods. She giggles.

“What I promised didn’t I?” She whispers back at me. Gesturing towards Jean who seems to be oblivious to what's happening.

“No. No. No. No,” I take a giant swing of my drink nearly finishing it.

“Hey there!” She says to Jean. He looks up from where he was staring at the fire. His mouth is slightly parted and his eyes are wide.The light from the fire bounces off his piercings. He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. Oh shit I am so done for.

“Hi,” he replies. Very softly, almost like he’s testing the waters.  
“I’m Sasha, and that’s my friend Marco!” She practically yells. Whhyy are you so loud, Sash?! I fear that her dumb booming voice might break him. He looks so fragile all folded on himself sitting in that chair. He glances over to me, and his eyebrows raise for a second. He quickly turns his attention back to Sasha. “We saw your show at the Titan Street Bar. Great show, dude!”

“Oh...thanks a lot.” He glances over to me expectantly. Oh, He wants me to say something. Say something Marco! You big dumb fuck! There’s a gorgeous male looking at you! You remember boys, right? those things you like? So I finally open my mouth.

“Also me!,” I belt...Because I don’t know how to talk to humans. Sasha chuckles quietly, thanks for the support Sash. “I mean, I did too. Liked your show I mean.” Jean looks at me with a hint of pity. Uh oh, I got to fix this! “and...uhm. All the songs were really great! Are they all originals?”

“Thanks. Yeah mostly originals. We only do, like, one cover.” Just then Sasha smacks me on the back.

“Want another beer, Marco? Jean?” She gestures to our drinks.

“Sure I’ll take one.” I say to her.

“Yeah, me too.” Jean mumbles as he takes out a cigarette to smoke. Sasha nods and runs off toward the house. I watch her as she goes. “Hey take a seat, what was your name? Marco, right?” Jean gestures towards a lawn chair next to him.

“Yeah, it's Marco.” I take a seat. “You’re Jean right?” He nods, and blows out a cloud of smoke.

“Yep, that’s me. You my number one fan or something?” He chuckles, and passes the cigarette to me. Oh, not a cigarette then. I take it from him.

“Thanks. Uh Sasha told me. She’s friends with Armin.” I take a hit of the joint, and hold the smoke in a bit. It’s definitely been a while, I blow out and sputter and cough. Great a coughing fit. Jean smacks me on the back.

“There there big guy, let it all out.” He chuckles.

“S-sorry...cough...it’s just been a while...cough.” I say to him feeling a little ashamed.

“Hey no judgement here.” Jean takes the joint back, and I wish I had more beer to calm the rawness of my throat. We chat for a bit. Well, I sort of talk at Jean while he just attentively stares at me. He has his head in his palm and he just gazing at me...while I talk about...I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m just rambling. I tend to do that. I talk about school, and parties that Sasha and I use to throw. Pretty much anything that comes to my mind. He must think I’m a total crazy person. The weed is obviously making me talkative. There’s a lull in our conversation and silence stretches between us.

“I wonder where Sasha went. She never came back with drinks.” I sputter out trying to fill the silent air. Jean keeps staring dreamily at me and points over my shoulder.

“She been over there the whole time.” I look over to Sasha where she’s talking with the bassist from the band and Connie. Well isn't she sneeky?

“Well, it looks like I have to get my own damn drink.” I spit sarcastically. I move to get up, and Jean squirms in his chair.

“Wait! Let me go with you!” He gets up after me. We start to make our way back to the house at the end of the path. It's completely dark and we only have the porch light in the distance to guide us back to the house. Crickets chirp from all directions, and it almost feels peaceful. I look over to Jean who has his eyes cast downward. The faint glow from the bonfire behind us glows onto the back of his head.

“Jean.”

“Hm?” He looks toward me. A small smile on his lips.

“Tell me something about yourself.”

“What?”

“I’ve been talking non-stop. I want you to talk now.” We walk in silence a few more steps as Jean considers what I’ve said. When we’ve finally arrived in the warm incandescents of the porch lights. Jean stills seems to be considering what he’s going to say. I wait another minute before making sure Jean actually heard me. “Surely you don’t have to think this deep for something to say about yourself,” I chuckle and I open the screen door. I step inside the house then turn around looking at Jean expectantly.

He shakes his head and his eyes widen. “I just don’t know what to say," he whispers seriously. He seems genuinely confused, and something about his delivery suddenly makes me laugh out loud.

“Oh my god! You are so high right now.” I throw a hand over my mouth to try and stifle my giggles. Jeans face contorts into a pout.

“I am not! I’m just trying to think of the perfect thing to say!” He basically screams at me, and I can’t help but laugh louder. “Screw me for trying to be candid with you! Also, you’re one to talk! First you’re like chatty cathy and now you got the fucking giggles! You're high as shit!”

“Chatty Cathy! Ahahahaha! Did you just call me Chatty Cathy?” I grip my sides and double over. I cannot stop laughing. I feel ridiculous laughing at something so not funny, but at the same time it feels nice to laugh. I’ve been so tense all night. We make our way to the kitchen. Jean is now making fun of me mercilessly. Telling the worst jokes he can think of to try and get me to laugh more. "Sstop please hahaha I can't hahahaa breathe!"

We finally make it into the kitchen. My laughter is now just a light chuckle, but of course with my luck, we walk into what seems to be a quickie between Eren and Armin. Armin is up on the counter with his pants dangling from one of his ankles, while Eren is covering Armin’s shame with his own bare ass.

“Holy fucking shit!” Jean screams, and as if on cue, I start laughing again.

“Get the fuck out!” Eren yells over his shoulder, but Jean stays put. I cover my rapidly reddening face with my hands, and I still can’t stop giggling.

“You guys are fucking nasty! There’s like 4 bedrooms upstairs and you chose to do it in the kitchen!? I’m going to tell Mikasa!” Jean yells, he actually sounds mildly offended.

“Why are you going to tell Mikasa!? She’s not in charge of me!” Eren shrieks now scrambling to pull up his pants. He tugs off his jacket and tosses it over Armin’s junk. Who has currently buried himself into his hands, and there’s some sort of ungodly pterodactyl noise coming from him. “Jesus Christ Jean! Get the fuck out of here!”

“Ughhhh! Just let us get some drinks.” Jean grumbles out. He makes his way to the fridge. I finally calm down, and stand awkwardly in the doorway. I see Eren turn back to Armin trying to calm him down, he whispers softly to him as he tries to pry Armin’s hands from his face. He softly says things like ‘it’s just Jean’ and ‘it’s not a big deal.’ Armin won’t budge though. He shakes his head and lowers it further down. Poor thing. I turn around and leave the kitchen feeling ashamed for gawking at the scene.

Jean joins me shortly after. Handing me a solo cup with a mystery liquid inside. I take a sip. Hmm some sort of alcohol and coke. “Thanks," I tell him. He nods and takes swig of his own drink.

“Sorry about that, my band mates are gross. Let’s go sit in the house It’s too cold out there.” Jean grabs my wrist, and he guides me into a cozy dimly-lit living room. We sit on the couch together. A beat of silence goes by before I speak again.

“It’s fine. In all honesty I feel bad for interrupting...and laughing so hard.” I give a meek smile over the lip of my cup. Jean scoffs.

“Don’t! They should know better. Like fucking rabbits, those two. That is nothing new,” He pauses and takes a sip of his drink. “God, on tour it was worse," he sneers. I chuckle.

“Well it’s good that they like each other. I won’t hold it against them.”

“Whatever. I’m just saying they’re like my family so it’s gross.” Jean crosses his legs and leans back on the couch. He looks up at the ceiling, and I take a moment to check him out. Jean. Jean. Jean. He's everything I imagined him to be: confident, cute, funny, wild. He's.... Fantastic. We sit comfortably in silence. Jeans has his head back and his eyes closed. I can hear the crickets chirping outside, the soft murmur of voices in the the kitchen, Every now and then I can hear Sasha distinctive laugh from outside, and the soft hush of Jean's breathing. I feel so comfortable, I almost want to fall asleep. Suddenly, Jean inhales sharply and says, “I remember you by the way.”

He remembers me?

“I remember you from the show.” He sits up and glances away. Oh shit. He remembers my dumb sweater vest. Is he going to tell me how lame I looked? He’s probably going to get up and run for the hills. Man, and this was going so well. I thought I was actually successfully talking with this human boy...Then Jean says rather quietly, “Sorry for calling you out, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” I almost spit my drink. Girlfriend? When did I say I had a girlfriend? Does he think Sasha is my girlfriend?!

“I don’t have a girlfriend! Sasha isn’t my girlfriend! Don't be sorry! I'm super gay. I don't have a girlfriend," I shout. Jeans looks over at me surprised. I gulp and try to calm myself down. Why'd I have to shout at him? "I uhm...don't have a girlfriend," I repeat, quietly this time.

“Well...” Jean quickly chugs his drink, and tosses the cup over his shoulder. “Thank god for that,” He hops onto my lap straddling my thighs. He pulls me into an aggressive kiss. Oh. Fantastic.

I kiss back of course, and he opens his mouth to let our tongues slide together. The kiss is sloppy and rushed, but I could honestly care less. My hands grip his slim thighs, and roam up to his waist. Jean runs his fingers through my hair, and down my shoulders all the while keeping the incredible pace he started with. I break the kiss, and Jean seems offended until I relocate my mouth to his neck. Licking and sucking into his pale skin. Jean breathes out and let’s out a small whine. “Thank god, I don’t have a girlfriend.” I sigh into his neck as he rolls his hips into me.

“I already thanked god.” He replies. Shutting me up with his mouth. Our make out slows down, and we start to find a much calmer pace. Suddenly I hear a shout from the doorway.

“Double fucking standard!” Eren calls over to us. Jean lifts an arm to flick off Eren, while still making out with me. “Oh yeah real classy, Jean. Also, sooo glad you caught that dude you’ve been lusting over since the Titan show!” Eren's voice is thick with sass. I stop in shock. Jean was ‘lusting’ after me? Clearly Eren meant to embarrass Jean, but Jean is definitely not embarrassed. He throws his head back, cackles wildly, and grinds his hips into mine. I stare up at him in awe. He’s so beautiful and wild in that moment, that I think I fall in love right there. Eren must have left at some point because the doorway is barren and we’re once again alone. Also, I must be gawking because moments later Jean nibbles on my lip.

“What’s up, my dear?” His lips are red and swollen from kissing. He smirks at me. I lean forward to give him a kiss.

“You’re amazing," I say. Jean laughs and shakes his head a bit. I kiss him again, this time trying to pour all of my feelings into it. When I release him he gazes down at me, eyes lidded. “I’m serious...you're the most amazing creature I've ever met," I whisper. He pauses to look at me. Then, a warm smile comes over his face. He lifts himself off of my lap, and I feel my heart sink into my chest. Shit, I’ve taken this too far. He gets to his feet and instead of running away he grabs my hand tugging me to stand. He quietly leads me to the stairs to our left. We walk hand in hand through the darkness of the house. The old steps creak beneath us. He leads me up to a hallway lined with a worn antique rug, photos line the hall. I can hear laughter start to trickle into the house. Everyone is making their way in from outside. Jean squeezes my hand, and he looks down at his feet. We reach a door and glide our way inside. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"No where. We're already here." He whispers into my lips. He kisses me again while shedding his jacket. I wind my hands around his small frame. His warm body now covered only in a plain white t-shirt. He slips his hand up into my jacket sliding it off. It falls to the floor with a soft thump. Jean breaks the kiss and looks at me from under his lashes. "Do you want to fuck me Marco?"

 

[Please insert record-scratch sound effect -love Marco]

 

“Uhhhhh w-what? F-f...s-Sex? with you?” I short circuit. “I mean, y-yeah of course, but-but Uhm. I mean--don’t you want to get to know me? We’ve only just met. I’d like to take you out of proper date. Right? People do that. Dates are a thing that people do. We could go get some coffee--oh but I don’t drink coffee. Do you? I really can’t stand it unless it has like 20 sugars in it.” I’m rambling. I know I’m rambling, you don’t have to tell me. I’m completely out of my mind. Jean wants to have sex with me? What the hell? What universe is this, and WHY AM I NOT SAYING YES?!

Jean stares at me with a bored expression while I continue to ramble. “C’mon man, are you serious right now?” he hisses. He steps back a bit and inspects me confused, “You’re not a virgin are you?”

“No. No nothing like that.” I’m just socially awkward! I think to myself. “I’m not, but why does that matter? It’s 2016, everyone knows it’s okay to be a virgin at any age. I mean, People go into their late 20s without having sex.” I’m rambling again, and Jean sighs and takes a seat on the bed.

“You’re confusing the shit out of me.” Jean glares up at me and points aggressively towards me. "You just said I was ‘the most amazing creature you’ve met.’ I know you’re kinda high, but If that’s not a line I don’t know what is.”

“What? No. What? A line? Why?” I baulk. What the hell does he mean? Jesus, and he says I’m confusing. Jean let’s out an even more exasperated sigh (it’s a borderline an ‘ugh’).

“You know what. Just forget it.” He crosses his legs and waves at me. “Bye Marco.”

“No hold on. I know I’m a rambling idiot who doesn’t know how to interact with people, but I’m really curious about what you just said...Do you think I was lying to you? Just to get in your pants?”

“Yeah, well. I ain’t ‘the most amazing creature.’ Look, dude, don’t be an ass. I think you’re full of shit, but I also think you’re pretty hot. So if you’re still down to fuck~” He gestures towards himself.

I just stare for a moment. “Jean, I...” I look down at my feet then back up at Jean. “I was being serious.” I curse under my breath, I can’t believe this. I scratch the back of my head and confess, ”watching you perform, and hanging out with you tonight...I actually think you’re pretty amazing. And I don’t just wanna have sex with you...cause...um..I think you’re special, and I’ve never really been one for one night stands, and I think we should date.”

And that’s the story of how I said the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever said in my whole life.

Jean stares at me wide-eyed. It's so quiet and It feels like every second is an hour. “Uh wow,” he begins. “I--”

“CAUGHT YOU!” Suddenly,Sasha bursts through the door. Isn’t that just the way? Connie is behind her, but he has his hands over his eyes. Jean and I look over at the door, both startled. Sasha sees that were both clothed and not even touching. “Aww what?” Sasha says disappointedly. She spins around and beats on Connie’s chest and whines, “I thought they were having seee-heh-heh-exxx~~!”

“Oh great! Not naked.” Connie opens his eyes and waves at me. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’re heading out and I didn’t want to bail on you, in case you wanted to come back with us.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks. I’m coming. I’ll be down in a second,” I reply, still stewing in my own embarrassment. Connie gives me a little salute, and Sasha gives me the Little Rascals wave. They both parade out of the room. When the door clicks shut Jean stands. He looks me up and down again. Then, he slowly lowers himself to reach for something on the ground. I’m so nervous that I think I’m holding my breath. He picks up my jacket, and puts it on. He gives me a sly smile.

“See you around, Marco.” His golden eyes sparkle as he saunters out of the room, and I’m left alone mouth agape. Um what? He didn’t say anything. I just told him he was “special” and “I think we should date”...and he didn’t say a word. He just stole my jacket and left.

Well shit.


	3. Fifteen Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco goes to another party.

The following day, Sasha kept asking me about what happened between Jean and I. It's shame that she wouldn't buy my "nothing; let's talk about something else" answer. So, after annoying me for the entire day, and then making me one of her famous Pimm's (as a bribe), I finally cracked and told the cringe worthy tale from the night before.

"Ooof," she huffs. "That's rough, buddy." Connie, Sasha and I are currently sitting on my balcony enjoying the last bits of sunlight before the cold winter night starts. Sasha and I enwrapped in the Jean topic while Connie is playing his DS. "I mean...why didn't you just have sex with the guy?! He sounds like he was pretty keen to me." She shakes her head.

"Well, did I mention my stupid feelings?" I whine back at her. "God, I don't know why I'm so stupid. I just thought he wanted to make out in private. But when he asked to sex with me...I instantly thought 'oh this is a one night stand. He'll never want to see me again.' And...I just wanted more! I didn't want it to be a one night stand, you know?" I slump in my chair and fiddle with the drink in my hand.

"Your standards are too high, Marco,” she replies calmly. “You're living in a fantasy world. Did you see where we were last night? There were people fucking on counter tops! That's where people eat!!" I snort, leave it to Sasha to makes this about food. "I'm just saying, you didn't know he was going to ditch you. He could've shouted his eternal love for you after that."

"Are you kidding me Sasha? Did you see him? No way a guy that pretty would have sex with me and say he liked it. Let alone tell people about it! I'm not that lucky."

"I am done trying to convince you that you're hot. So I will only say: You fucked up, you ugly piece of shit." Sasha takes a swig of her pimms and crosses her legs.

"Don't make me feel worse. Plus, before this conversation I started to convince myself that...considering me...it went pretty well." I sip my drink and cross my legs mimicking Sasha’s pose. I stare off into the dusk, If I think hard enough I can still remember how Jean felt sitting in my lap. How pale his neck was as he threw his head back to laugh. How he smelled like the bonfire, and under it I could smell honey. I can remember his topaz eyes setting me on fire when he left with my jacket (which he stole).

"Earth to weirdo." Sasha considers me with a bored expression. "I said, are you going to want to see him again?"

"Oh, No and yes?” I consider the options, “no because I'll die from embarrassment, and yes because I think if I don't I'll explode."

"Always a dramatic." She laughs and shakes her head. "Seems as if someone's a little obsessed."

"Sasha, he was like drugs. I seriously think I'll die if I don't see him again. Did I mention his eyes, his laugh, his pout, his everything? He's, like, the perfect boy. I can't believe he was okay with almost having sex with me. I mean a guy like that wanted to have intercourse with a weirdo like me! If I hadn't ruined it with my feelings, I could have been fucking balls dee--"

"Jesus! Chill the fuck Marco." Connie yells from over his gameboy. Sasha laughs loudly.

"C'mon Connie don't you wanna hear about Marco almost being balls deep in Jean's ass?" Sasha makes an obscene gesture and waggles her brows at Connie. Connie shudders and shakes his head.

"Sorry, Con. I kinda forgot you were here." I say sheepishly.

"Don't apologize to him Marco, he's just a prude. He won't even let me pee with the door open."

"You know he stole my jacket," I say.

"Connie you stole his jacket?!" Sasha shouts and smacks Connie on the arm.

“OW! No I didn’t!” Connie glares at me.

"No, not Connie, Idiot! Jean. He took my jacket when he left."

"So he had two jackets on?" She asks confused.

"Well, No. He took mine and left his, and I took it cause it was cold as shit."

"So….he took your jacket? And then left you with his?" Sasha just stares at me. Connie rises up from his game. Another few seconds go by of them staring.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I check myself to make sure I haven't grown an extra limb.

"You are an actual moron," Connie deadpans.

"You are the worst most clueless boy." Sasha shakes her head.

"What? Use your words!” I shout.

“I didn’t realize that Jean was an actual 16-year old girl,” Connie chuckles and resumes playing his game. Sasha is shaking her head and smiling.

“I’m not going to be y’alls friend anymore if you don’t start talking.” I sit back and fold my arms across my chest.

“Marco, that is the oldest trick in the book.” Then, Sasha’s voice rises in octave and her wrists go limp, “‘Ohhh I like this boy but I don’t know if I’ll see him again so I’ll steal something from him or leave something at his house! So he’ll have to talk to me again.’” She laughs loudly. “I just think it’s pretty funny cause he did both. ha ha ha ha!” Connie gestures towards Sasha as if to agree.

“You sure he wasn’t just being a di--” I start, but Sasha lurches forward and grabs my arm.

“Did you check the pockets?!” She gasps and gives me a devilish smile.

“Uhh, I don’t know. Not really? It’s not my jacket,” I reply. Sasha squeals and runs through the door and into my bedroom. “W-wait!” I stumble in from the balcony and I hear Sasha shout from the other room.

“Is it this jean jacket?” I walk slowly into my room and lean on the frame of the door. Sasha has the jacket draped across her lap, and is rifling through the pockets. “Heh, get it? Jean has a jean jacket?”

“That works better on paper.” I mosey over and sit next to her on the bed. “Find anything?”

“I found a receipt and penny in this one,” she points at the right pocket, and unfolds the receipt to study it. “He bought a nerd’s rope and a PBR at CVS on the fourth.”

“Of course he did,” I sigh.

“Okay this is the moment of truth.” She gestures toward the left one. I cross my legs and lean in. I’m actually starting to hope there's something in there. She lets out a puff of air and slowly puts her hand inside the pocket and feels around.

“Well?” Sasha’s hand stops moving and she looks at me. She lets out a huff and her head falls.

“Nothing,” she replies. I sigh again.

“See I told you! He was just being a dick. I scared him away cause I’m so fucking embarrassing.” Sasha tosses the jacket behind her and folds her hands over her lap.

“Hey, just cause he didn’t leave his number doesn’t mean anything. I was just grasping at straws. I’m sure he purposely left his gross jacket with you cause he wants it back.” I look away. “C’mon Marco…you’re the best. Jean doesn’t even deserve you.”

“You are too kind,” I huff.

“No! I’m serious. You’re an awesome guy, and I know my opinion doesn’t mean much but I’d date you in a heartbeat!” She pats me on the back.

“Thanks Sasha. If you were a dude I’d date you too.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She giggles. “C’mon stud, let’s go finish those pimms, and then I’ll make you a real drink. With extra alcohol!” we get up in unison and she loops her arm through mine.

“Yes please, let’s get trashed.”

* * *

 

Three weeks later, I tagged along with Sasha and Connie to yet another party. This particular party is a birthday party for one of Sasha’s friends Christa. It is during an afternoon which is odd, but the party seems fairly mature. There is a table with food on it for one thing, and it isn't junk food. Prepared foods: small sandwiches, stuffed grape leaves, mini toasts with cheese, and a large rice dish meant to feed everyone. It’s like, an actual adult party.

Before we left Sasha briefed me on how classy Krista’s parties are. Which is why the three of us are dressed in Sunday school clothes. Connie is wearing a button up shirt for Christ's sake. (Or...for Christa’s sake. buh dum pissh I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.)

When we first arrived the three of us wandered around the party realizing quickly that none of our friends were in attendance. So, we found a cozy corner of the backyard and stood there for about 30 minutes only talking to each other.

The backyard is green and small with a vegetable garden on one side and a rusted shed on the other. The three of us stand next to the garden close to the wooden fence. I lean back and survey the party participants.

“Why is everyone at this party so clever?” I say in a rather salty tone.

“They don't look clever to me,” Sasha surveys the crowd and shrugs her shoulders. I take a swig of beer and point.

“Look at that guy.” I point to a tall muscular man with blonde hair he has his hands in his pockets, but he's confident. “He’s like a banter master. I bet everything out of his mouth is so fucking interesting. Look how those girls are giggling their asses off.” Two girls are standing by the broad man both of them dressed very smart. Connie looks over to where I point.

“Dude, that's Reiner.” He says smugly. “He’s actually a cool guy.”

“That's what I'm saying. Everyone here is so cool.” I huff and take a swig of my drink. “This party is trying so hard.”

“Woah there Marco.” Sasha chimes in, “why you gotta be so sassy all the sudden?”

“He's salty ‘cause his boyfriend isn't here,” Connie teases.

“Jean?” Sasha mimics his adolescent tone. “How upsetting for our lonely widdle Marco.”

“Ha ha ha,” I drone. “If only he was here then maybe I could further demonstrate my amazing people skills.”

“If who was here?” Our graceful hostess, Christa, suddenly appears by our small circle and bats her long eyelashes innocently. I hear Sasha begin to say Jean's name. So, I quickly pretend to spill my drink on her. An obvious and completely normal reaction. She gasps and stares down at her sundress.

“Marco! What the actual fuck?!” She shrieks. Christa covers her mouth in shock and gasps a small ‘oh my.’ Connie, of course, starts laughing.

“Oops sorry Sash.” I shrug and look her in the eye. “I'm so super clumsy sometimes,” I say through clenched teeth.

“Did you seriously just spill your drink on me cause I was about to say you wish JEAN was here?!” I turn to her and huff dramatically throwing my arms up. Christa chuckles and Connie laughs harder.

“Well fucking great! Please go tell the whole party why don't you?” I shriek.

“Maybe I will ya dingdong!” She says with a bit too much determination. She flicks moisture off her dress. Christa clears her throat suddenly. “Don’t mind him, Christa, He’s upset cause Jean asked to have sex with him and Marco was too big of a ball-sack to go through with it.” Then, I let out a noise that certainly isn’t human.

“Shut your whore mouth! I am LITERALLY going to kill you,” I shout. Connie has just checked out, he’s buckled over laughing, tears are streaming down his face. It’s nice to know I have such caring friends that don’t like to embarrass me.

“I'm glad you're having fun, guys,” she giggles. Then, we all sort of ‘come online’ at the same time and realize we’re being idiots at this girl’s birthday party.

“Oh, happy birthday, Christa”  
“Happy birthday.”  
“Yeah, happy birthday.”

With a beautiful smile, Christa raises her glass towards us, “thank you sweethearts. I have a feeling the rest of the party is going to go very well.” She winks at me, “thanks for coming.” She walks away and disappears into the party.

“...”  
“...”  
“...”

Sasha hits me on the back of my head. “Great now Christa thinks we're weirdos! Thanks Marco!”

“Thanks me?! UH! Who just told a complete stranger something very embarrassing and emotional about me?” I take a sip the remainder my drink and fold my arms defensively.

“It was me and my whore mouth. After you spilled a stank ass beer on me!,” Sasha bites back.

“Dudes, it’s fine. I mean, she would've found out we’re weirdos eventually.” Connie laughs and shakes his head. Sasha glares at me and I stare back with a bored expression. “I'm going to go pee.” I turn on my heels and walk straight into the house.

“Wait! You gotta help me clean my dress.” Sasha trails after me.

We wander around for a moment glancing into doorways. We see white tiles peeking from a room at the end of the hallway. Sasha points vaguely in the direction and leads the way. Halfway past the first door we hear voices coming from the next bedroom. “Have you seen him?” I think it's Christa’s voice. Sasha stops dead in her tracks and pulls me back. She shushes me.

“Yeah he's being weird around here somewhere. Why?” It's Eren’s voice. I give Sasha a ‘why are we listening to this’ look.

“Shh!” She glares at me.

“Hmm oh nothing. Just thought he might like to know that Marco is here.” Christa says innocently.

What?

“Oh my gooood, please don’t tell him. He was a babbling idiot after Armin’s last party,” Eren spits. I hear him say ‘so fucking annoying’ under his breath.

Still all I can think is, what? Then, I hear Armin pipe up. I hadn't realized he was in there but I hear his boyish voice ring out, “Aww c’mon it's cute. It's not often Jean gets sweet on someone.” That's when I turn and see that Sasha is giving me the biggest shit eating grin I've ever seen. She bites back a snicker.

“Armin, it is not cute.” Eren deadpans.

“Oh come on, Jean’s so lovestruck it’s adorable, I've never seen him so wrecked over a person.” I don't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation, because I'm grabbing Sasha by the hand and yank us into the bathroom together.

Once the door is closed I start to pace back and forth. Sasha has her back glued to the door. I turn to her suddenly and gesture vaguely, and I can't help but smile from ear to ear. Sasha lets out a high pitch squeal and shakes her clenched fists up and down. I laugh out loud.

“Oh my god,” I run my hand through my hair. “Do you think he really likes me? Why in hell would he really like me?” Sasha jumps up and down and squeals again, she throws her hands in the air. “Ha ha ha oh my god, stop!”

“He~~~likes~~~you~~~” she sings. She places her hands on my shoulders and sings it again, “He~~~likes~~~you~~~”

I giggle. I actually fucking giggle. Sasha is poking and prodding at me singing about Jean and I kissing in a tree. I grab her and shove my hand over her mouth. “Shhh! Stop! Literally stop!” She continues with her song now muffled. “Okay this is pretty good news.”

“Damn right it is!” Sasha cheers. I huff and smile again.

“Okay, yes I admit. This sounds promising, but promise me you won't say a fucking word okay?” I squint at Sasha, but she grins back at me. She giggles, clears her throat, then puts her hand over her heart.

“I solemnly swear not tell a soul that Jean has it hot for Marco.” I push her softly.

“Shut it.” I laugh.

“Look at you, Mr.Gigglepuss.” She goes to the sink and towels off her dress. “‘tee hee hee sthaap Sashaaa oh my gaaawdddd he does nawwwt.’ That’s you.”

“Fuck you! I do not sound like that!” I laugh again.

We continue to bicker and I completely forget that I came inside to pee. Sasha and I continue to make fun of eachother as we leave the bathroom not paying attention at all. That’s when suddenly I run straight into another person.

“Ack! Oh man, I am so soorr--” I start to say, but I look slightly down. Oh surprise surprise it’s Jean. We lock eyes, and he’s staring intently at me, like intently but also kinda glarey...like, it looks like he kinda wants to punch me. Which I think I would be into?

Sasha looks between the two of us and then skirts past us with a small, “bye.”

“H-hi, I uhm, sorry. I ran into you.” I stutter out. Jean looks down and away as if he’s thinking. I take a moment to look him over, he’s wearing a boy scout’s shirt that has a bunch of band patches on it, and pair of tight black shorts, and combat boots. Jesus Christ I wanna cry. “Jean?” I bend down a bit because he’s still looking away. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you just now did I? I am a bit taller than you I noticed. I didn’t really notice the last time we...w-we uhh ‘hung out?’” I clear my throat. Great, I reminded him. A moment of silence goes by. “Je--”

“I HAVE YOUR JACKET!” he shouts. Can’t say it doesn’t startle me.

“Uhh y-yeah! I have yours too.” He looks up at me.

“I want it back,” He says. Wow, okay he really does want nothing to do with me. I guess Armin and Eren were wrong. I sigh. I should have guessed.

“Yeah, okay. Uhm, Should I? I can give it to someone to give to you?” I suggest.

“Do you want yours back?” He asks, now looking at me with his really intense eyes.

“I guess? If that’s okay?” I shrug and sorta laugh at myself. Jean smirks at me.

“Let’s go get it now!” He barks, and grabs my hand. I think I say ‘okay’ but I am mesmerised by Jean’s slim hand leading me through the crowded party. He pulls me out of the front door, abandoning my hand. (Which I am deeply saddened by.) “My car is over here,” He points to the left and we walk a bit to find a red 1990 Toyota Corolla. I get into the passenger seat and buckle myself. Jean gets in and lights a cigarette. He chuckles a bit. “Sorry my car is a piece of shit,” he says.

“It suits you,” my brain decides to say. “Uh! Not that you’re a piece of shit or anything! Quite the contrary. I think you’re rather lovely. I mean! Omigod I didn’t just say that.” Jean laughs heartily and shakes his head. “Sorry, I sorta...think in my mouth.”

“I’ve noticed,” Jean says. He starts the car and we make our way down the road. Jean’s car makes a strange noise, but it perseveres and takes us out of the neighborhood and along the main road. We pass buildings I recognize and places I’ve been. We continue that till we don’t, and I start seeing areas of the city I’ve never been to before.

“Where are we going?” I ask after a few minutes. Jean chuckles.

“To get your jacket,” he replies.

“And where would that be?”

“My house, of course.”

“Oh.”

 

OH…


	4. Golden Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco doesn't go to a party this time.

Jean’s house is large, and old. You walk in the front door and you’re in a bedroom, a bed with a lace cover is instantly on your left. The walls are decorated with all sorts of bizarre artworks, and also posters for “Horseface and the Perfect” shows. There’s a bass guitar in the corner, next to a closet that has a few outfits hung neatly inside it. Jean is behind me fiddling with the lock while I snoop around the first room we’ve come into. “Ahem, so,” he starts. “This is Mikasa’s room. Did you meet Mikasa? She doesn’t really care about privacy so her room is up front.”

“Wow, how many people live here?” I venture a bit further ahead and look into the next room. The next room is a hallway with a set of narrow stairs to the right that head upwards. There’s various music equipment shoved under the stairs. Amps, an old mixing board, and a PA system that has a sign taped to it that reads “PIECE OF SHIT.” The walls are peeling at the top and you can see that this house has been painted multiple times. 

“Just Me, Mikasa, Eren, and occasionally Armin.” Jean points down the hallway, “the living room, Eren’s room and the kitchen are down there.” He pushes past me and starts trotting up the stairs. “My room, and your jacket are up here.” The stairs wheeze loudly as we walk up. I can’t believe I’m about to be Jean’s room. We walk upstairs to enter a room filled with music equipment. 

“Wow, you guys have a ton of stuff. Is this where you guys practice?” There are a bunch of rugs on the floor, none of them match and there is sound proofing foam that has been lazily duct-taped to the walls.

“Yeah we use to practice here, but our new neighbors blow. Some dudes with sticks up their asses. So, now we gotta rent a practice space in the warehouse district.” Jean continues past me and walks to the back wall where there’s another door. Finally, we walk into Jean’s room. “Sorry it’s a mess.” He says quickly and he starts picking up random clothes off the floor. 

“No it’s fine.” Jean’s room is definitely a mess. There are bags of clothes everywhere, and tons of posters and I don’t know any of the bands or films. His bed is shoved in the corner by a window, it’s a twin with an 80s ninja turtle sheet set on it. “Ninja turtles,” I point. I look over and Jean is digging through a laundry basket. He didn’t hear me, thank god. What the fuck is he suppose to say to that remark.  _ ‘Yes, I see you have eyes?’ God, I am fucking doomed.  _

“EUREKA!” Jean yells. I turn to look back at him, and what I’m guessing is my jacket smacks me in the face. “Haha sorry,” Jean chuckles. I pull the jacket down out of my eyes. 

“Thank you. I see now why you stole it, you are clearly in need of more clothing.” I gesture sarcastically to the sea of clothes around us.

“Yeah I have a bit of a thrift store problem.” Jean sits on his bed, and looks up at me. I run my hands on my coat, and fold it over my arms. Letting out a puff of air, I wonder if I can keep quiet long enough that Jean will just tell me to leave. 

“I like your room a lot,” of course I can’t keep quiet, but I do actually like his room. It’s cluttered, but you can tell everything here is something he loves. He’s got stacks of sketchbooks, novels, little knickknacks that suit him, tons of records, and a beautiful black guitar sitting proudly on a stand in the corner. He’s got sheer white curtains on the windows, which cause the sunset to pool in like a fog. 

“I’ve played guitar since I was 10,” he says out of the blue. 

“Oh uh, coo--”

“Also, I dropped out of college. I use to shoplift a lot, but I don’t anymore. I smoke too much. I like to draw. I sing in a band, but I’ve only written 2 of the songs. I really like buying clothes, and my parents don’t really talk to me anymore.” Jean gets up and walks toward me.

“Jean, w-wha--” he interrupts me again.

“At Armin’s party. You said you thought I was amazing, but you didn’t really know anything about me.” My face falls. Jean looks up at me. “That’s why I thought you were lying...cause I’m not amazing. Actually pretty far from it.”

“I...I didn’t mean to...”  _ I didn’t mean to what? Mislead you? make you feel bad?  _ I mean...He’s right. He’s completely right I don’t know him. I guess my absolute infatuation with him is sorta unhealthy at this point. I should just keep my idiot mouth shut. 

“Marco, I know, we were fucked up, and people say stupid shit when they’re fucked up. So, don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t mean it.” Jean waves his hands in the air, and he sighs deeply. 

“Hey listen,” my mouth says before my brain can catch up. I pause and try to compose my thoughts. “I may have been a tiny bit fucked up, and I know that I say stupid shit, but I say shit like that even when I’m sober, and even in light of this new evidence I don’t take back the ‘amazing’ comment. I may not know you like  _ that _ , I mean your details, but I did spend a bunch of hours with you.” Jean shakes his head and ruffles his hair.

“EErrgh! Marco you don’t know anything about me! I’m a piece of shit, and you’re.. you’re like perfect or something!” Clearly Jean is actually pissed, but I can’t help it, I laugh out loud. 

“You clearly have not been paying attention if you think that I’m perfect.” My remark only seems to piss off Jean further. I mean, has this guy been listening to me? I rambled to him at that party for at least 2 hours about nothing, rejected him sexually, and then asked him to date me!

“Yeah you have some sort of ‘foot in mouth’ disease, but besides that you’re like...a poster child,” he exclaims. 

“Poster child for what? Stressed out college student?” I quip. 

“Shut up! You’re in school! Your biggest problem is that you feel like a bad friend, but you are clearly a really good friend! You dress like a normal person! You’re  _ really _ fucking gorgeous! Like seriously, do you know how hot you are?! And you said I was ‘special’ and I think the only thing I really talked about is how much my bandmates fuck!” Jean grabs his hair like he just realized something, “Jesus Christ please stay away from me, I am going to ruin you!” He turns away from me and plops on his bed with his head in his hands. Wow, this guy is super dramatic...almost as dramatic as me. He’s really endearing to me for some reason. I sit next to him on his bed. He’s still hiding his face in his hands. I fiddle with my fingers and sigh. 

“Jean, you’re not going to  _ ruin  _ me.” I huff.

“This wasn’t suppose to go like this. I think you’re shitty people skills rubbed off on me.” He mumbles from under his hands.

“Hah! See! Now who’s ruining who?” I hear Jean laugh, and he lifts his head finally. He turns to me, and I feel his weight shift as he leans toward me. The bed creaks. He takes my cheek in his hand and gently pulls me into a kiss. His lips brush softly and innocently over mine. He nips shyly at my mouth. Deepening the kiss, I grab the small hairs of his undercut. Then run my hands down his chest. Meeting my new pace Jean moves in close to me. His tongue slides over mine. Jean makes a small noise into my mouth, and I have to shift my position because I realize my dick is in a very uncomfortable spot to be getting..uh...uh... _ I’m getting a boner okay _ . He pulls away gasping. His lips are red and his cheeks are flushed. I’m sure I look about the same.

“We should be friends,” he says.

“Yeah okay,” I say softly back to him. 

“That’s all I can handle right now. I don’t think I can date you,” He looks down at my mouth again, and gives me another passionate kiss. 

“You know, what you’re doing right now really contradicts everything you’re saying.” We kiss again.

“Well, I have no self control,” He swings one of his legs over my lap to straddle me. (Seems to be his patented seduction move.) His hips rock forward and grind into my erection. I moan in surprise. God, I am so embarrassing.  “Clearly you aren’t either,” he chuckles.

“Y-you know,” I gasp. “I stopped this from happening last time--” Jean unbuttons my shirt and pulls it off. “B-because I was afraid I’d never see you again.” He untucks my undershirt, “so if you promise we’ll actually be friends or whatever this is.” He pulls my undershirt over my head, “Then I’d be okay with this happening.” I am released from the darkness of my undershirt to be stared down by a very unamused Jean. He sighs deeply, and he reaches to his bedside table grabbing a permanent marker. 

“Gimmie your arm.” He holds his hand out expectantly. I move my freckly arm into his grasp.  He roughly grabs my forearm and traps it between his arm and chest. He turns a bit so I can’t see him writing. The cool ink of the marker makes me shiver. Jean tilts his head back and forth in concentration. “There!” He pops the lid back onto the marker. I turn my arm so I can see what he’s written. “Happy?”

_“_ ** _Jean Kirstein_** **_555-6719 <3 <3_** _”_

“I’ll...I’ll take it.” He smirks and leans in to kiss me again.

* * *

 

 

“YEAH AND THEN WHAT?” Sasha screams at me. She slams a pillow down onto my bed that she was clutching a moment before. “You can’t just stop there! I wanna know all the details!” She punctuates each word by slamming the pillow down repeatedly. 

“I’m not describing it to you,  _ perv. _ ” I rub my eyes, the clock reads 6:00pm. I got home at 4 in the morning last night and I only slept till 8 am.  _ I am so fuckin’ sleepy _ .

“Well, how far did ya’ll go? Mouth and hands stuff? Or full on like...” She makes a lewd gesture. It’s hard to describe but basically she’s hitting the backs of her wrists together. Ah, what a delicate human being Sasha is. I roll my eyes.

“Only mouth and hands stuff. My GOD is he amazing, by the way. He makes all these cute little noises and his face gets all flushed. UGH!” I lean back onto my headboard and sigh. “He’s perfect,” I say in agony.

“So you guys are officially ‘friends’ huh?” she does air quotes.

“I don’t…really know? I’m too tired to think about it. I left at like 4am.“

“Wait. Wwwwwwwhy didn’t you sleep over?” She draws out the ‘why’ for dramatic effect.

“Well, I started to...and Jean seemed fine with it. He even cuddled with me a bit. Which was adorable.” Sasha nods. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I LIKE him. It kinda...freaked me out. So, I left while he was sleeping.” I hide behind my hands and groan. “Ugh! I should have just stayed.”

“Yeah you really should have.” Sasha deadpans.

“BUT he said he didn’t want to date me! Wasn’t it wrong of me to lay there and think about how much I want to date him?” 

“Psh, whatever. He ain’t no mind reader.” 

“Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.” I lay back on my bed. “I should have stayed.”

“Yeah, but you really should have stayed.” Sasha grins at me. I throw a pillow at her.

“I should have stayed!!” I shout. Sasha starts to laugh.

“Did you ever think, in your tiny gay mind that you should have just  _ stayed _ ?” She throws her arms up. I laugh too.

“Why didn’t I just do the thing?”

“Marco, but did you think about doing the stay thing?!” We’re now cracking up, and I hear my text tone go off. I rush over to check it. “Who dat is?” Sasha says. I gasp.

“It’s Jean! I texted him a ‘hey.‘ this morning.” I squirm with excitement.

“God damn Marco you are the coolest...no hoe can resist a cold ‘hey.’” She leans over my shoulder. “What did he say?” 

“He wants to hang out with meee~~.” I pump a fist in the air.

“Get it Marco! Where y’all going?” Sasha starts to jump on my bed. 

“i just texted him my address and he’s gonna pick me up in 30 minutes! I am so exhausted but I don’t even care!” I join her in jumping.  We dig through my closet for about 10 minutes to put together an acceptable outfit.

I hear the front door shut, and Connie comes into the room.

“Hey dingledangs, Pretty boy is sitting in his car around the corner,” Connie says nonchalant. “I saw him on my walk over, I think he’s stalking you bro.”

“Ahhh whhaaaattt?!” Sasha screams.

“Oh my god,” I gawk.

“Ohh my godd! 20 minutes early?! He wants you so baddd.” Sasha runs to the balcony. Connie follows after her.

“I don’t think you can see him from there,” he calls after her. I pull on my shoes and jacket as quickly as possible. I grab my keys and wallet and race to the door.

“Bye you guys! Don’t wait up!” I yell at Sasha and Connie before slamming the door and running down my building’s stairs. I head around the corner in the direction I think Connie came from. Then I spot him, in his red toyota, staring down at his phone. I jog up and tap on the window. He looks up lazily, but quickly his expression turns panicked.

“Holy shit!” I hear muffled from the inside. He rolls down the manual windows. “M-marco! H-hi! I was a bit early, but I didn’t want to rush you so…” He blushing like mad, and I must have the stupidest grin on my face.

“Ha ha ha! Who knew you were secretly a huge dork?” I lean through the window and kiss him quick on the lips. I make my way around the car, but I see Jean rest his head on the steering wheel. I hop into the passenger side. “So, where are we going?” Jean peaks at me from under his eyelashes.  

“You’ll see.”

* * *

 

“Ahh the levee sweet!” I squawk. Because yes, I’m annoying and my voice is annoying like a squawk. Jean lets out a little huff.

“Ah have you been before?” He seems a little disappointed. The levee was a staple hangout of my high school years. You can even hide giant parties behind it! It’s very beautiful at night, and I’m guessing he was hoping to show me the lights on the river. Oh man, he’s adorable. I should have acted like I’ve never been here.

“Not in a really long time. Let’s go!” I say trying to remedy the situation. I grab his hand and start running across the street towards the levee. I hear Jean gasp in surprise but he quickly picks up the pace keeping up with me. We sprint across the road. There are railroad tracks that run along this street, and you have to cross them to get to the levee. I slow down a bit and make sure Jean doesn’t trip over the high rusty metal of the tracks. The gravel crunches under our feet; the large stones are difficult to walk on. The final hurdle is the large ditch that separates the tracks from the green expanse of the hill. When we get to the ditch Jean leaps over first. 

“C’mon jump right here, I’ll grab you.” I look down at the overgrown swampy mess of a ditch. I was always terrible at this in highschool. Always getting the backs of my shoes wet and never quite making it.    

“I promise this isn’t a dig, but I’m pretty sure I weigh a lot more than you.” I chuckle a bit, but Jean’s expression stays serious.

“I’ll pull you in, I promise.” Jean’s face is so earnest, and I can’t help feel touched.

“Alright.” I step back a few paces and then run to leap across the ditch. Jean grabs my arm as I clear the water and pulls me in just like he promised. Then, just like I promised I weigh a lot more than him, causing him to fall backwards and fall onto the squishy grass under us. I land on top of him, and quickly rear back to make sure I didn’t break him, “Ah! I’m sorry are you okay?!” I say frantically. Jean busts out laughing.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He sits up and starts to walk up the the hill. “C’mon big guy race you to the top!” We scramble to run up the steep incline of the levee. I completely underestimate how out of shape I am, when I reach the top I am huffing and puffing. 

“Whew! You win. I am out of shape.” I look up and see Jean smiling out toward the horizon. The pink and orange glow from the sunset falling onto his beautiful face. I walking silently to his side, trying my best to control my breathing. “It’s really beautiful up here, huh?” Jean glances over at me a small smile still placed on his lips. 

“Yeah.” He looks up at the sky, “I really love sunsets.” We stand there in silence for a minute looking at the sky. I slowly stop admiring the sky, and start admiring Jean. He looks very peaceful.  

“You’re beautiful.” I say, and I feel my conscious cringe for me. God that was gooney. Jean is obviously feeling the embarrassment, because he lowers his head and laughs. He face flushes a bit.

“Don’t say those kinds of things to me.” 

“Why not?”

“Because,” He scratches the back of his neck.

“I mean it though.” I reach out and touch his palm. He curls his fingers slightly, as if he wants to hold my hand. He pulls away quickly.

“C’mon let’s go down to the riverbank, we’ll get in trouble if someone sees us standing up here.” 

We make our way down to the riverbank and find a huge piece of driftwood to sit on. The beach is covered in trash: old liquor bottles and beer cans. I feel very nostalgic all of the sudden.

“Wow, I haven’t been back here since high school.” I chuckle.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah. Sasha and I would throw these huge parties out here, and invite WAY too many people.” I laugh think back on Sasha trying to build a fire with the damp wood from the beach, and eventually sending someone to buy lighter fluid. Man, we really shouldn’t have done that.

“You must have been popular, huh?” Jean says suddenly

“Uh, I guess...I mean, I pretty much always had people around me back then.” I stutter out.  

“That must be why you’re so nice.” I chuckle and take in a breath to say something contrary when Jean interrupts me, “I didn’t really have friends in high school.” He sighs and looks out toward the river. “It was my fault though. I hated everyone back then. I pushed people away and I guess…” He pauses and digs the heel of his boot into the sand, “I guess I never really got use to people.” He shakes his head and looks at me. “Sorry, I just--” He looks down at my hands, “I often think, If I had known then what I know now. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a dick. You know?” 

“I think everyone feels that way sometimes.”

“Even you?” I nod and Jean looks down at his boots again. “But you’re so kind Marco.”

“Jean, Listen to me. I think you are a very sweet person. I can tell you are 100% not a dick. You are earnest and precious, and I like you a lot.” Jean actually blushes and smiles at my words. Which I must admit were not very eloquent, but this is me folks...don’t get your hopes up.

“Thank you Marco.” I move my hand up from his shoulder to the side of his neck and look at his amber eyes. He meets my gaze but shyly averts his eyes to the water again. Suddenly he pulls away and yells towards the river, “FUCK HIGH SCHOOL!” It startles me into laughter. 

“Let’s not talk about the past! Nostalgia sucks!” I exclaim. Jean looks over at me amused. 

“Yeah, alright.” He chuckles and lowers his head in between his legs. 

“Ha ha. What?” I lean down to try and see his expression.

“Oh nothing.” He sits up. He has a very sweet smile that I haven’t seen before, and I wish I had the courage to kiss him right now. “You know...We have another show in 2 days...you should come.”

“I’ll be there!” I say a little too enthusiastically. Look how far I’ve come, I’m on a ‘friend’ date with Jean, and were talking like people do. Holy shit, why hasn’t anything bad happened yet? 

“Great. I’ll text you the details.” He smiles at me again, very sweetly. My hands itch, I want to touch him so badly. Jean wants to be friends though. I can’t get too romantic. I want to see him again. I want to see Jean again for a long time in fact. Which is really not helping my ‘just friends’ argument. I spend the rest of the evening asking Jean more about himself. Trying to decipher what he’s comfortable with talking to me about right now. I don’t get much out of him, mostly things about his bandmates.We stayed on the riverbank till the tide started to come in. He drove me home shortly after. When we get to my house we kiss in his car. I try my best to keep my hands to myself. I wave goodbye and he drives off. 

Jean likes sunsets, Jean hated high school, Jean has another show, and I’m invited.

* * *

 

 

The next two days go by at an alarmingly slow rate and by the time the day of Jean’s show arrives I feel extremely antsy. It’s at a different venue this time, and I’ve recruited Sasha into going with me.

“Let’s just go!” Sasha cries. “Come on Marco!”

“Okay. okay.” I check my appearance one more time before I grab my heavy coat and head out the door. It’s gotten considerably colder in this last week, and everyone is bundling up. We travel to the venue, the cold damp air seeps into our bones. Sasha sings silly song about the train on the train, and Connie smiles and watches her. The venue is small again, and the floor is sticky. The hipsters shuffle in and order their craft beers, and the punks shuffle in and order their cheap beers. We all stand together in a soft roar of voices. It’s dark inside and Sasha and Connie have gone to the bar leaving me by myself. I watch as someone comes out of the green room behind the stage. It’s Jean. A few beautiful people try to talk to him as he passes, he brushes them off and scans the crowd. We lock eyes and he walks over to me. 

“Hi Jean.” 

“Hi Marco,” he takes my hand. He leads me back toward the green room, and he pulls me past the few beautiful people he rejected. They glare at me. 

We arrive in the green room, Jean’s hand still in mine. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa are all playing N64 on a small CRT television. Jean clears his throat.

“Hey guys this is Marco.” He drops my hand before his bandmates turn around. They look up and they all sort of laugh to themselves.

“We all know Marco, Idiot” Eren spits to Jean. Jean bristles. I wave happily to the three of them, still over the moon about the fact that Jean just singled me out in a room full of people.

“Well I didn’t know that! You fuckface!” Jean shouts back. I hear Mikasa say she’s actually never formally met me softly under her breath, but it drowned out by Jean and Eren’s yelling.

“You didn’t know that huh? Uh, remember when I saw you two dry humping on Armin’s grandpa’s couch.” Armin pauses the game and drops his controller. 

“WHAT?!” Armin shouts. Eren busts out laughing. Jean looks like he wants to murder everyone in the room (probably including me). Jean ignores Armin’s rage and continues to sass Eren. 

“Oh  _ sorry! _ Eren did I scar your poor virgin eyes? OH WAIT. I didn’t! Because I had just come from the kitchen where I saw you and Armin fu--” Armin coughs loudly.

“Uh! Okay! Nope! Shut the fuck up everyone! Change the subject. Hi Marco, we are very happy you are dating this loser. Almost as happy as I am about dating the other loser.” Armin punctuates his sentence by folding his arms and glaring at Eren who is still chuckling. 

“Oh we’re not dating.” I wave my hands in front of me. I glance to Jean who is side-eyeing the shit out of the wall to the left of us. 

“You’re not dating?” Mikasa says quietly. Eren rolls his eyes. Armin looks at me like I just told him the biggest lie in all eternity. Then, all three of them turn to Jean who just keeps staring at that wall over there...must be super interesting. Jean nods his head. Armin sighs deeply. 

“Sorry about our idiot Marco,” Armin says to me. They all turn around and resume their game. Jean grabs my hand and leads me out the back door behind the bar. No one is out here, must be too cold. 

“What was that about?” I asked him. Smiling as sincerely as I can because this is weird and starting to bum me out. Jean shakes his head and takes out a cigarette.  _ Don’t smoke you beautiful gazelle,  _ I think to myself. A quick flick of his bic lighter and he takes a drag. Jean looks down and kicks up the pavement.

“I was...I told them…” He thinks for a moment. Taking another drag off his cigarette, and tilting his head to the side. He sighs. “I think I actually do...want us to date…” I can’t help the huge smile that blooms on my face. “I don’t care anymore that you don’t really know me. I mean, we can work on that. I’ve been obsessing over you since Armin’s party, and I think you’re a really great guy, despite your ramblings. And for some reason you like me. Which, feels...nice...I guess. So, yeah. If you want to. Let’s date.”

“Really?” I baulk. 

“I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” Jean looks up at me a stubborn pout on his face. Our eyes meet.

“Please! Yes! I want to date you so bad. I can’t wait to get to know you, and I have so many reasons to like you, and I’ve been obsessing over you too, and I’m rambling again sorry I’ll work on that too, and I want to make you feel nice. Jean I want you to feel so freakin’ nice,” I voice desperately. He laughs, his dimple piercings sinking into his cheeks. 

I sweep him up into a hug. He squirms and aims his cigarette away from me. “Careful Marco!” I hold his small frame to my chest and grin. He chuckles and kisses me lightly. 

“Are we boyfriends?” I whisper. 

“Yes, Marco,” he huffs. 

I let go and open the door back into the green room to shout, “hey guys! now we  _ are _ dating!” The three bandmates look up and all shout. Mikasa gives a thumbs up. I shut the door and return to Jean’s side. “I’m glad you changed your mind.” 

“Yeah, well. I would have never have heard the end of it if I hadn’t asked just now...I told them that I would ask you out the day we went to the levee...but I chickened out. This gets them off my back now.” He scratches the side of his head.

“Oh...That kinda sucks. Is that the only reason?” 

“No! Of course not!” He stiffens and steps towards me. He pulls me by my neck into a deep kiss. He traces the tip of my tongue with his and slides along it. He draws back licks softly along my lip and nips. “I like you.” He kisses me again. “A lot.” My hands run along his waist and I wrap my arms around him.

“You should have started with that.” I kiss the corner of his mouth making my way down his neck, Jean sighs sweetly. We kiss again slowly. I open my eyes to find Jean is watching me while we kiss. I pull back for a second to speak, but Jean pushes his thigh up against my crotch. Sending warm shocks through my body. I buckle forward and catch Jean’s shoulders in my hands. I’m still as pathetic as always. 

“Having trouble standing?” Jean smirks and palms me through my jeans. “I can feel how hard you are for me.” He clutches my dick through the fabric. “You get this turned on just from a bit of kissing Marco?”

“Can you...Do you have to have a show right now?” I whine. 

“Yes he does and we go on in like three minutes,” Eren says behind me. I jump in surprise. Jean hugs me tighter and places his chin on my shoulder, he takes a drag off his cigarette. 

“Fuck off Eren, I’ll be there in a second.” I hear Eren grumble and the door shuts. Jean leans back and looks at me. “You’ll watch my show though won’t you Marco?” He smirks and plays with the hairs on the back of my neck.  _ I have never felt so turned on and happy in my life.  _

“Gaah~ Yes. Of course I will. Yes. Yep.” I’m sweating.  “You’re kind of an exhibitionist huh? I mean like, You always so totally chill when that happens. That’s the second time right? D-does that turn you on? Public stuff? It’s okay if it does! This one time in highsch--” Jean places a finger on my lips.

“You’re rambling again, big guy.” He pulls away from me and stomps out his cigarette. He saunters over to the back door and waves over at me to follow. 

The band is getting ready to go on, and I am shooed out of the green room. Jean gives me a wink before I leave and I almost smack into a wall on my way out.  Sasha is waiting by the bar when I get back, raising an eyebrow when she sees me. 

“What’s up?”

“Oh nothing,” I hum. 

The sound of a guitar being strummed fills the room and the band walks on stage. Jean walks up to the mic, “This first song is for that hot freckled guy by the bar a.k.a my new boyfriend.” Sasha turns to me and screams as does the rest of the audience. I turn away from the stage to hide my face. The song starts and fills the room with energy. Everyone turns back to watch the band. I peek back over to the stage and Jean is singing his heart out and I feel like I’m falling for him all over again. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's the end. I hope you enjoyed it. <3


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